fetishism = illness??? (opinion poll)

[vbenergy]

I suspect the shoe = mothers affection is typical
neo-freudian bullshit, but there may be something to
the imprinting aspect of it, shoes and boots are quite
pretty and many are shiny. Kids observe the interest
of adults in shoes and when they are older follow
the same pattern.

From my point of view human differ from animals in
that sex for us is a creative mental activity, not just
a strong instinct. Everyone takes the strong basic
drive to have sex and turns it into a personal expression.

So most forms of fetish are just creative outlets for that energy
and will probably be considered to be an art form one of these days.

[tehfyre]

People have fettishes for many different reasons, and each person's reasons are his or her own. I myself developed a shoe fettish after seeing the scene in "Heartbreakers" when what's-her-name gets her high heels (I think they were stiletto slides, can't really remember, though. Buying the DVD is on my to-do list...) stuck in the mud, and recieving the biggest erection I ever had up to that point in time. I have a preference for pointy-toed or lace-up boots, stiletto pumps, black high heeled strappy sandals, and skateboarding shoes, and mud is my favorite way of wrecking them. A pretty typical form of a pretty typical fettish.

Almost everyone's got some fettish or another, and some are more severe than others. Some people just enjoy something a bit more than usual, while others only need to see something before having unbearable urges for sex. It's not anything wrong, or a mental illness, it's no different than preferences in food. Some people like spicy foods, some like sour foods, and others like sweet foods. Does liking one type of food make someone mentally ill? No. The same applies to sexual preferences, such as fettishes. Some like bondage or domination, others like role-playing, and some, like the vast majority of people on this site, like shoes. It's perfectly normal.

[Guest]

Fetish feelings are not only not abnormal or any sort of mental illness, they are widespread and common. They are often very narrow specific things, like just one particular style or color of boots or shoes. The great human value of this website and the internet in general is in showing us all that thousands of other normal people share our very specific same feelings.

As far as Krafft-Ebbing and other classic psychologists go, they defined fetishism as an abnormal sexual arousal from things that are unrelated to sexual intercourse. Yet breasts and legs are unrelated to intercourse, but the popular media in our culture makes those fetishes seem socially more acceptable to admit publically. But the subliminal undercurrent is there. While Jay Leno makes jokes about breasts but not boots, just look at Fran Drescher on "Nanny". It's never in the dialog but she knows good and well that many watch her show just to see her wear those black leather boots on almost every show.

On this website we can share these feelings privately and anonymously with people of similar attitudes. without having to put up with the misjudgments of amateur (or professional) psycholgists. A classic example of this is my annoyance with people who think that because I am aroused by black leather boots and gloves that I therefore must be into whips, chains, and sado-masochism which do not remotely interest me in the least. Each of us has some uniqueness which is normal and good. Some like mud, some like food, some burning, each to his own in a non-judgmental way.

Relations with girls are never easy for anyone. How many of us, after cautiously easing into the subject of fetish sex, got the turned off "you're more interested in my boots than in me" attitude? (But she would enjoy interest in her breasts as "normal") That's why we learn to keep our feelings so private, sadly even from wives. I had the marvelous good fortune to eventually meet a girl who understood me psychologically and enjoyed not only turning me on but amplifying the fetish side. That is absolutely electrifying and unforgetable. But sadly, it is rare for most of us. If girls only knew that the way to a man's heart can be through amplifying his most private and personal fetishes, they could find and keep a devoted husband forever! The true beauty of sexual love is not in "taking" pleasure for oneself but the enjoyment one feels from GIVING pleasure to ones partner in their own very private special way! Few girls understand that. I was very lucky to meet one that did. I hope some girls read these thoughts, and improve their marriages with them.

So, my friends, do not waste effort wondering WHY you have a fetish, and most certainly don't try to remove it. Don't blame your childhood or your mother. Instead, know what it is that really turns you on and then amplify it and ENJOY it!

[tehfyre]

It's rather obvious why most girls find it normal for a guy to be into their breasts or ass, but not their shoes. It's because their breasts or ass are part of their body, and therefore part of them. If they think a guy only likes them for their shoes, then that guy may also be into all the other girls with the same pair of shoes. Though other girls may have bigger breasts, they can't have her exact body, so girls would prefer guys with fettishes for female bodies.

Because of this, and the rarity of finding that your girlfriend is into the same fettishes as you, it is often nessesary to suppress sexual feelings towards a girl's shoes until you can be sure that it's safe to request that she wears them during sex or in any unusual situations that could result in damage to them.

I think all that sheet about relating them to anything about your childhood is just that: sheet. Anyone searching for a psychological reason in their childhood can't truly think of their fettish as normal, and therefore can't enjoy it. It doesn't matter why you have a fettish; it only matters that you enjoy the feeling of arousal that that fettish brings.

[Guest]

It is in fact an interesting topic. I don't think shoe-fetishism in particular can be described as an illness. What's the definition of being ill anyway? I think an illness is a physiologic and/or psychologic malfunction of the human body that disables or negatively affects vital functions.
I'm in my case getting very excited about women wearing shoes while getting them wet in puddles or other situations, swimming with their heels, sandals or especially sneakers (trainers) still on. And of course I've got lots of sneakers I regularly soak. But that has no negative effect to me. In fact it makes me feel better and a bit eager of course

I can't exactly determine the reason why I get so excited about soaking my shoes in different ways or watching others doing so.. maybe its:

- the feeling of the cold water slowly getting into the footwear,
- an excitement about purposely doing things to the shoes what they're meant to protect the feet from,
- to see where the shoes leak how much water and how quick,
- the squeezy feeling and sound of an entirely soaked sneaker
- the water dripping out of an entirely soaked shoe,
- the changing color of shoe while getting wet,
- the excitement of abusing major brands fashion sneakers and therefore maybe is an expression of decadence,
- the smell of new shoes getting soaked,
- to see how far you can put your shoes in water before they leak...

I can't say I want to get rid of my fetish because I can get really good feelings in a quite easy way while the normal attraction to women still remains the same. For my part this fetish is an addition or a multiplier to the sexual life. Unfortunately, my girlfriend is not aware of that fetish and I am quite sure she'd really not share my thoughts about getting shoes wet.

So back to the question - is shoefetish an illness? Well, as long as you do not want do lose that fetish or think it's a welcome addition to the life, it's definately not an illness. But when you can't get attraction of anything else than doing things to/with shoes and have a too strong desire the whole day long, spending all your money for new shoes and also want to be different or be 'normal' and therefore suffer and looking for a 'treatment' then I think it definately can be defined as being ill.

Of course lots of people do not have any understanding for this fetish and just defines it as being sick and completely insane (I in my part can't see the exitement of leather, bondage, worship, sadism or whatever that is so popular out there and is used in many porn flicks). But I'm quite sure everyone has a fetish and if anyone says fetishism is an illness then he/she is just not aware of his/her fetish yet or does not want to admit...

That's my part of the discussion...

Best Regards from Switzerland and sorry about my english if it sounds completely malformed...

[Wetshoe]

It's rather obvious why most girls find it normal for a guy to be into their breasts or ass, but not their shoes. It's because their breasts or ass are part of their body, and therefore part of them. If they think a guy only likes them for their shoes, then that guy may also be into all the other girls with the same pair of shoes. Though other girls may have bigger breasts, they can't have her exact body, so girls would prefer guys with fettishes for female bodies..

i think its actually the shoes they are jealous of, not other girls with the same shoes. so who's sick here???

[Wetshoe]

Fetish feelings are not only not abnormal or any sort of mental illness, they are widespread and common...

hi guest,
thanks for this very interesting post. do you mind if i put it somewhere permanent on the site?
wetshoe